Suppose something great was about to happen to you? Perhaps you were going to win the lottery or lose a hundred pounds? Of course you would experience elation and joy. However, there may also be feelings of not deserving it or anger over the past being so difficult. The great new thing in your life can actually be trying emotionally. That is why it is necessary to prepare yourself emotionally for success.
Holding On to the Past
Culture has a way of getting people to stuff their emotions deep. There are unspoken rules of society. There are parental expectations and societal expectations. For example, expectations may lead someone to pursue money instead of passion. The more the emotions are shut down the more trauma and stress will be felt by the individual. Many holistic practitioners point to passion avoidance as a trigger for disease.
If a particular bad feeling persists over the course of your life, you may be in need of help. Post traumatic stress disorder involves people that can not seem to overcome a difficult experience. This causes people to constantly relive unpleasant events. In the lives of the obese, many have been traumatized socially. Obese people are often the people left out and many become inward as the trauma overtakes their lives. People often don't realize they are traumatized and in a constant state of anxiety. These feelings often lead to low self esteem and later depression. Traumatized victims often seek to feel happy through addictive foods creating a downward spiral of events. In these cases, it is vitally important for a qualified doctor to intervene and give help. It is not normal to constantly have bad or depressing thoughts. People that are traumatized should seek counseling.
Who Am I?
In the true spiritual sense, the person doesn't have an identity. Instead they seem themselves as part of the greater spirit or life force. Society effectively takes individuals and puts upon them an ego or identity. For example, you are a good spouse, a good architect, or a great soccer player. We tend to form our identities through our work, families, and recreational activities.
Obese individuals have, as part of their identity, an idea that they are fat. The societal norms associate obesity with laziness, intellectually inferior, and outcast. Even though the intellectual mind can see that these norms are false, obese people subtley accept these norms as true. It happens over time. Most obese people even delude themselves into thinking that they are the exceptions. They erroneously believe that they aren't affected. However, according to researcher Kenneth Laymond, obese people are just as enforcing of these societal norms as thin people. For example, obese people prefer the company of thin people and obese people think that thin people are smarter. The fact that people accept these norms for others shows how they must feel deeply. Many obese people feel deeply rejected, have low self esteem, and become depressed.
How does this translate into who am I? You gain an identity that you accept through society. The identity took years to build up and, for better or worse, is you. The mind emotional body wants to hold onto identity. Why? It is safer and because it works. Many times obese people can use obesity as a way to avoid other painful events. For example, if you don't make friends well, you could eat to obesity and than blame it on the weight problem. It seems crazy, but the mind and body will protect itself. In an almost subliminal way we make tiny decisions (lots of tiny things add up to big things) based on things we haven't thought deeply about.
Overcoming Negative Emotions and Identity
The first thing to do is to try and open up. Did you want to be a writer when you were little? Do you love music? Look for positive emotions that open up your soul.
You can accomplish this through study and prayer or even yoga. The main point is to set aside a time each day for positive mental contemplation.
Think of stories in your past where you did something fun or accomplished something great. If you need to, make up stories of how successful or happy you will be in the future. Over time you will start believing the stories and see that you have potential. A journal of positive things in your life can make a large difference in your life. You will start to see improvements. The writing helps to solidify meanings and text in your mind. In times of sorrow or pain, you can simply turn to your journal for inspiration. A journal should also tell of trial and disappointment. However, the writing should focus on the positive learning experiences that come from such events.
Friends and Family
People should reinforce the societal norms that come with being thin. People should treat you respectfully as though your are an intelligent valued human being. If your friends and family constantly reinforce that you are an intellectually inferior moron, it may be time to look for more supportive people. Over time, supportive people can help you convince yourself that obesity isn't your identity. Ultimately, you can shed all your identity (and pounds) and live in passion and spirit. That is the way to happiness.